The Warmth of Words

 

I have delivered several eulogies and numerous toasts in the past decades. Some are in another blog and labelled Toasts and Tributes (https://toastsandtributes.blogspot.com/). In the last fortnight I have twice spoken in praise at the funeral of a departed aunt and a cousin It’s not often I am on the receiving end. Fortunately, nobody has been called on to present my eulogy yet. At both my 75^th and 80^th birthday, I expected to hear wonderful things about myself. And I did, but not enough to satisfy my need for affirmation! At 75, my elder son, a cousin and a Toastmaster friend all gave a short speech. At my 80^th, my older brother and one of my nieces gave me rave reviews. I hope I can be a fly on the wall at my funeral. I expect a real whitewash. Nobody ever says anything negative at a funeral unless it is something humorous.

(Have you noticed how anyone whose death is reported in the media is always wonderful? A criminal fleeing from the law in a stolen car and killed in the process was always ‘a wonderful son,’ ‘a great dad and loyal friend.’ One day I want to hear that he was a total deadbeat who assaulted his mother, neglected his kids, and drank and gambled everything his poor wife slaved for.)

After my 80^th birthday, I had a case of the miseries. I had looked forward to my birthday and celebrating with family and friends – but I didn’t actually want to be 80. That was old. I know that I am considered the person in the family who talks but I still thought that more of my family would have something to share, though everyone says they hate public speaking and the younger ones are almost a different generation from me. I know what it is like to be almost paralysed with nerves at having to get up and speak in public. I was abysmally shy as a kid and a young adult. Eventually I decided that I could sit in the corner and hope no one noticed me or get out, do something about it and take control of my nerves. Toastmasters helped me do that. After the first couple of nerve-wracking speeches, I discovered the warmth of the support of fellow members who were all travelling the same journey.  We assume that our families and friends will be positive and uplifting. To get that same encouragement from club members and colleagues seems to be more inspiring.

Please be involved. Share some feedback you have received that boosted your confidence – or shattered your serenity. I'd like this to be an interactive blog. Even a comment would be appreciated.